So, it’s official. David and I are planning a “traditional” wedding. We don’t have a date or a space or even a guestlist at this point, but we are really set on making something happen– with a party, d’accord.
After really sorting through our wants and how we would want to celebrate it, we realized that an elopement would be weird, a destination wedding wouldn’t be the most efficient use of our money, but a “traditional” wedding doesn’t seem to fit right, either.
See this? This ain’t gonna happen.
not surprisingly, this is unrealistic and from Martha Stewart.
I will probably not be wearing white, there probably will not be flowers, and chances are David and I will not be standing in front of people sitting in ugly chairs and tell each other how much we couldn’t live without each other.
I’m not a princess, nor do I ever want to be one. This day isn’t 100% about me. (It’s 90% about me, har de har har, and 10% about cake.)

Like chocolate-mint cupcakes.
My dad isn’t going to “give me away” and David isn’t buying me.
I’m pretty sure that, for the last sixteen months or so, I’ve been grouchy about getting married because traditional wedding ceremonies and sights are all signs of a transaction. I recall when I told my parents we got engaged, my dad said to me, “Well, I wish he’d asked for permission.”
My response was something along the lines of, “Are you fucking joking?”
I love milestones, but I’m not a big fan of the tradition of purchasing a wife for future breeding. I won’t be saving any cake for a year, to use as my child’s birthday cake. (That’s the reason why it’s tradition to save your top layer– by the time you hit 12 months of being wed, you should be celebrating a baby.) David and I already have a blender, so we don’t need to “outfit our house” with presents.
But man, do I love throwing a party.
I wonder how one goes about re-writing the wedding process as a feminist. I kind of want to have our commitment involve a high-five, which is something David and I do on an embarrassingly frequent basis. I have to admit that I’ve been obsessing over The Offbeat Bride Tribe website.
I have been pinning wedding ideas for a while, and I think all I’ve come to realize is that I’m broke, and I want to swear a spangly gold dress.
Now, I know that all of you probably march to the beat of your own drummers, too. So I’m curious to hear how you broke with tradition to have your own weddings.